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20080511
Sex and how we are abusing ourselves with it...
Over the last few weeks, since a little before Pascha, I have been taking note of what seems like a growing trend (a disturbing trend) in the news, that is, they are reporting on more and more sexual abuse cases. These cases include everything from rape cases, date-rape cases, underage sex and/or violence, teachers abusing children by having sex with them (both male and female teachers), and clergy abuse to name just a few of the news reports that I have read. This has made me start thinking about the state in which our society finds itself today, in regards to sex and sexuality. How we as a society view sex and how we interact with each other as members of the opposite sex.
I should note here, that those of us in the Orthodox Church are not in a separate category here as we are in some other instances. For example, in matters of theology we can safely say that the Orthodox Church is in its own separate group, usually the minority –unfortunately. In this case the members of the Orthodox Church fit in perfectly with the main stream of society at large. I would say this is especially true where our younger people are concerned. The amount of sexual imagery and content that is thrown at young people these days is beyond staggering. In fact, it is a wonder that young people still have a desire to live something other than a completely depraved lifestyle. Now that is a huge statement to make, and there are probably many people out there who would disagree with me. Yet what amazes me is that these are the same people who seemed shocked every time a young person is abused by an on-line predator, manipulated in to child-pornography, or some other horrendous act of depravity. I think some examples are needed to help clarify the points that I am trying to make here.
The following case comes out of Hillsborough County Florida: (Courtesy of MyFoxTampa.com)
Deputies: Teacher, boy had multiple sexual encounters:
TAMPA – Investigators say a Hillsborough County middle school teacher had sex with a 14-year-old student, and it happened more than once. On Thursday, deputies arrested 28-year-old Stephanie Ragusa on charges that she had a sexual relationship with a boy who was a student at Davidsen Middle School, where she previously worked. Detectives say they learned of the relationship after someone told the school's resource officer earlier this week, and he then interviewed the victim. From that interview, they were able to acquire enough information to make the arrest.
Now this case is actually the latest in a string of cases which are becoming more and more common. That is, female teachers abusing male teenage students. And yes it is most certainly abuse. While male to female sexual abuse has to do with power and force, female to male sexual abuse has to do with psychological and emotional ‘force’. [My opinion] Over the last year or so there have been a dozen or so cases of this type of sexual abuse (that made the news--I wonder how many went unreported?) by female teachers towards male teenage students. It happened so often FoxNews.com actually at one point, gave these women their own special section on their crime page. The teacher involved in this case, knew precisely that what she was doing with this teenage boy was wrong. (See the arrest warrant and related police materials which have been made public, where she admits to knowing the actions are wrong.) All this still begs the question though why would someone do something such as this?
To delve into the mind of a pedophile is not what I am trying to accomplish with this post. But I would like to look at some of the externals that help delude people in to thinking this behavior is okay. Women (young and old), and thereby default, men (young and old), are told today that you have to be extremely skinny (actually sickly thin) to be attractive. Not only that, they are told that the less you wear the better. The more provocative you are the better. Have you seen the collages that young people put together today? These collages contain provocative poses, suggestive of sex and the more the better. T.V daytime soap-operas today could never have been aired, even 10 years ago, because of the scenes of sexuality (including nudity)and sexual content. This is not to mention the cable T.V. medium which is basically turned into porn on demand.
The idea here is that women (and again by default men) have been duped into thinking that sexual freedom (and that isn't really the right word for it) is somehow equated with women’s rights and liberation. Now there is a large portion of the population which would agree with the last statement, but I don’t. What I see is young women and men, and even older women and men, acting out in ways which are just unbelievable. Here is another example that will help us along in this discussion:
New Playmate of the Year: 'My Parents Couldn’t Be Happier'
She’s the first Canadian to take the title since Shannon Tweed in 1972, and 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole says her parents are "so proud" of their little girl. "Everyone is so excited and my parents couldn’t be happier," the 22-year-old brunette told Pop Tarts at Thursday’s Playmate of the Year luncheon held at the iconic Playboy Mansion. "They’ve come all the way down here from Ontario to support me." But for a gal who was once "terrified" of being nude, Jayde has certainly come a long way. "I used to just be a regular model; I did runway and fashion," said the Playmate who also owns her own modeling agency. "Going nude seemed terrifying, but I bought a magazine and saw how classy it was and I changed my mind. "My first shoot was so nerve-racking. I had my robe on and they were just like ‘OK, drop it,’ and I kind of freaked. But everyone was totally professional so it was all smooth sailing. I’m pretty comfortable with it now." Well, that’s just as well, as supersized copies of her nude spread were displayed throughout the lush luncheon. According to Hugh Hefner himself, Miss Jayde won hands-down. "There was no question about it, the readers voted for her online and she won overwhelmingly," Hef said. "She’s amazing. What a body. …"
Now how does a young successful model (22) go from not wanting to do nude modeling to being thrilled about being in one of the best known adult men’s magazines in the world? How does this same 22 year old go about her day allowing an 84 year old man drool over her? Some would say money, and I would say they are right. Basically, what we are saying in this case, “is don’t worry honey, I know you have morals, but I will buy them from you! Now ‘OK, drop the clothes.’” (See Jayden’s comment about dropping her clothes above.)
I am going to continue this discussion over the next few posts and try to examine the how and why of this problem. I am also going to put forward what the Church should be telling her members about sex and sexuality. Finally, I am going to go back and take a look at the professionals who abuse those whom they are charged to care for: i.e. clergy, teachers, police officers, etc… I say that because, these people are in a special category, and can’t exactly be lumped into the rest of the slimy pool. Now if you are saying to yourself that there is a lot of information here you are right. It also seems disjointed and that has a lot to do with the complexity of this issue. I am hoping to get people to stop and think about what they are doing and why they are doing it; also I want people to take a look at what their children are doing and how it is affecting them. In the mean time feel free to comment and make suggestions of your own.
I should note here, that those of us in the Orthodox Church are not in a separate category here as we are in some other instances. For example, in matters of theology we can safely say that the Orthodox Church is in its own separate group, usually the minority –unfortunately. In this case the members of the Orthodox Church fit in perfectly with the main stream of society at large. I would say this is especially true where our younger people are concerned. The amount of sexual imagery and content that is thrown at young people these days is beyond staggering. In fact, it is a wonder that young people still have a desire to live something other than a completely depraved lifestyle. Now that is a huge statement to make, and there are probably many people out there who would disagree with me. Yet what amazes me is that these are the same people who seemed shocked every time a young person is abused by an on-line predator, manipulated in to child-pornography, or some other horrendous act of depravity. I think some examples are needed to help clarify the points that I am trying to make here.
The following case comes out of Hillsborough County Florida: (Courtesy of MyFoxTampa.com)
Deputies: Teacher, boy had multiple sexual encounters:
TAMPA – Investigators say a Hillsborough County middle school teacher had sex with a 14-year-old student, and it happened more than once. On Thursday, deputies arrested 28-year-old Stephanie Ragusa on charges that she had a sexual relationship with a boy who was a student at Davidsen Middle School, where she previously worked. Detectives say they learned of the relationship after someone told the school's resource officer earlier this week, and he then interviewed the victim. From that interview, they were able to acquire enough information to make the arrest.
Now this case is actually the latest in a string of cases which are becoming more and more common. That is, female teachers abusing male teenage students. And yes it is most certainly abuse. While male to female sexual abuse has to do with power and force, female to male sexual abuse has to do with psychological and emotional ‘force’. [My opinion] Over the last year or so there have been a dozen or so cases of this type of sexual abuse (that made the news--I wonder how many went unreported?) by female teachers towards male teenage students. It happened so often FoxNews.com actually at one point, gave these women their own special section on their crime page. The teacher involved in this case, knew precisely that what she was doing with this teenage boy was wrong. (See the arrest warrant and related police materials which have been made public, where she admits to knowing the actions are wrong.) All this still begs the question though why would someone do something such as this?
To delve into the mind of a pedophile is not what I am trying to accomplish with this post. But I would like to look at some of the externals that help delude people in to thinking this behavior is okay. Women (young and old), and thereby default, men (young and old), are told today that you have to be extremely skinny (actually sickly thin) to be attractive. Not only that, they are told that the less you wear the better. The more provocative you are the better. Have you seen the collages that young people put together today? These collages contain provocative poses, suggestive of sex and the more the better. T.V daytime soap-operas today could never have been aired, even 10 years ago, because of the scenes of sexuality (including nudity)and sexual content. This is not to mention the cable T.V. medium which is basically turned into porn on demand.
The idea here is that women (and again by default men) have been duped into thinking that sexual freedom (and that isn't really the right word for it) is somehow equated with women’s rights and liberation. Now there is a large portion of the population which would agree with the last statement, but I don’t. What I see is young women and men, and even older women and men, acting out in ways which are just unbelievable. Here is another example that will help us along in this discussion:
New Playmate of the Year: 'My Parents Couldn’t Be Happier'
She’s the first Canadian to take the title since Shannon Tweed in 1972, and 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole says her parents are "so proud" of their little girl. "Everyone is so excited and my parents couldn’t be happier," the 22-year-old brunette told Pop Tarts at Thursday’s Playmate of the Year luncheon held at the iconic Playboy Mansion. "They’ve come all the way down here from Ontario to support me." But for a gal who was once "terrified" of being nude, Jayde has certainly come a long way. "I used to just be a regular model; I did runway and fashion," said the Playmate who also owns her own modeling agency. "Going nude seemed terrifying, but I bought a magazine and saw how classy it was and I changed my mind. "My first shoot was so nerve-racking. I had my robe on and they were just like ‘OK, drop it,’ and I kind of freaked. But everyone was totally professional so it was all smooth sailing. I’m pretty comfortable with it now." Well, that’s just as well, as supersized copies of her nude spread were displayed throughout the lush luncheon. According to Hugh Hefner himself, Miss Jayde won hands-down. "There was no question about it, the readers voted for her online and she won overwhelmingly," Hef said. "She’s amazing. What a body. …"
Now how does a young successful model (22) go from not wanting to do nude modeling to being thrilled about being in one of the best known adult men’s magazines in the world? How does this same 22 year old go about her day allowing an 84 year old man drool over her? Some would say money, and I would say they are right. Basically, what we are saying in this case, “is don’t worry honey, I know you have morals, but I will buy them from you! Now ‘OK, drop the clothes.’” (See Jayden’s comment about dropping her clothes above.)
I am going to continue this discussion over the next few posts and try to examine the how and why of this problem. I am also going to put forward what the Church should be telling her members about sex and sexuality. Finally, I am going to go back and take a look at the professionals who abuse those whom they are charged to care for: i.e. clergy, teachers, police officers, etc… I say that because, these people are in a special category, and can’t exactly be lumped into the rest of the slimy pool. Now if you are saying to yourself that there is a lot of information here you are right. It also seems disjointed and that has a lot to do with the complexity of this issue. I am hoping to get people to stop and think about what they are doing and why they are doing it; also I want people to take a look at what their children are doing and how it is affecting them. In the mean time feel free to comment and make suggestions of your own.
